Monday, December 16, 2013

Getting closer to Christmas... and closer to baby!

We are 9 days away from Christmas and I am officially 2/3 done with this pregnancy business (28 weeks tomorrow). I've been feeling so much movement lately that I've been moved to write a little bit about what's going on. Har har.

I hate to say it, but I'm already getting uncomfortable. (And there's still 12 weeks to go!)  It's more difficult to haul Cece around than it once was. I've also been having these moments of mild claustrophobia when I realize I can't fit in certain places (like my clothes, narrow passages, etc.). In the morning, I resemble a turtle on it's back when trying to get out of bed. Cece and Joe find this amusing and I don't blame them. I've also been watching my weight a little more this time (as in watching it go up, haha.) But my shoes and my rings still fit for now, so that's a success of some sort. No interesting cravings to report on. Just a big appetite and lots of random meals while I've been at home. (I do hope a lady can have half a ball of fresh mozzarella for lunch and not be judged too harshly.)

In any event, I'm getting extremely excited. And NERVOUS. Nervous about delivery, the sleeplessness, giving everyone adequate attention, and the readjusting of our life, etc.  It's OK to admit being nervous, right? Still, I can't wait to meet this next baby and see Cece as a big sister (and Joe as a dad of two!).

I'm also trying to relish in what I still consider to be the most wonderful time of the year. I never get tired of watching Cece delight in all that is holiday related-- from each fresh snowfall, to watering the Christmas tree, to helping write cards, to pointing out decorations everywhere and identifying Christmas music every time she hears it.

This time of year is also tremendously bittersweet. It was one year ago that Dad was diagnosed with cancer. I remember being in the hospital with him as he told me that he was so glad that I enjoy Cece so much and that having kids is just the best. And he was so right. 

Every day, I'm trying to still process and accept that he is physically not here with us. Every time I'm in Chicago, I feel like he is just out running around and going to walk through the door at any moment with a big smile and full of conversation. I will forever wish that we had more time together. Everyone says each year will get easier and I certainly hope it does. I also hope to do many of the same things with my kids as dad did with us. (This means outdoor ice skating, driving around to look at Christmas lights while listening to Tony Bennett, visiting downtown, and things of that nature.)

I'm still trying to process that in less than a 12 month span, I will have lost my dad, but will have had a new baby. If nothing else, this past year has shown me the brevity and beauty of life. It's shown me that the moments we have with our friends and family should be treasured above all else. It can feel like those moments will last forever, but I know now that those moments are fleeting glimpses of heaven and we are blessed to experience them at all.

I absolutely hope that you are enjoying this wonderful season with your family!

P.S. Thanks to Joe for taking this photo and thanks to everyone reading for kindly enduring my barrage of baby bump documentation!
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